Teen Movies: 8tracks Collection
I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80’s movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason.
80s Boombox: 01. The Breakfast Club - Don’t You Forget About Me; Simple Minds | 02. Say Anything - In Your Eyes; Peter Gabriel | 03. Dirty Dancing - Eyes; Eric Carmen | 04. Pretty In Pink - If You Leave; Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark | 05. Some Kind Of Wonderful - She Loves Me; Stephen Duffy | 06. Valley Girl - I Melt With You Modern English | 07. Sixteen Candles - True; Spandau Ballet | 08. Pretty In Pink - Try A Little Tenderness; Otis Redding | 09. Dirty Dancing - The Time Of My Life; Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes | 10. Top Gun - Take My Breath Away; Berlin | 11. Sixteen Candles - If You Were Here; Thompson Twins | 12. Mannequin - Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now; Starship | 13. Some Kind Of Wonderful - Abuse (Dr. Mabuse Remix); Propaganda | 14. Back To The Future - Power of Love; Huey Lewis and the News | 15. Can’t Buy Me Love - All Night; Randy Hall | 16. The Breakfast Club - We Are Not Alone; Karla DeVito | 17. St. Elmo’s Street - Man In Motion; John Parr | 18. Footloose - Footloose; Kenny Loggins | 19. Risky Business - Old Time Rock N Roll; Bob Seger | 20. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off - Twist And Shout; The Beatles | 21. Back To The Future - Johnny B. Goode; Chuck Berry | 22. The Blues Brothers - Shake A Tail Feather; The Blues Brothers feat. Ray Charles | 23. Flashdance - What A Feeling; Irene Cara | 24. Can’t Buy Me Love - Can’t Buy Me Love; The Beatles | 25. Happy Together - Happy Together; The Turtles | 26. Dream A Little Dream - Dream A Little Dream Me; Mel Tormé and Mickey Thomas | 27. Real Genius - Everybody Wants To Rule The World; Tears For Fears | 28. Heathers - Teenage Suicide (Don’t Do It); Big Fun | 29. Weird Science - Weird Science; Oingo Boingo | 30. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off - Oh Yeah; Yello. [LISTEN]
90s Discman: 01. Cruel Intentions - Bittersweet Symphony; The Verve | 02. Romeo + Juliet - Lovefool; The Cardigans. | 03. Armagedon - I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing Aerosmith | 04. Freaks and Geeks - Bad Reputation; Joan Jett and the Blackhearts | 05. She’s All That - Rockafeller; Skank Fatboy Slim | 06. Clueless - Kids In America; The Muffs | 07. Can’t Hardly Wait - I Can’t Get Enough Of You, Baby; Smash Mouth | 08. 10 Things I Hate About You - I Want You To Want Me; Letters To Cleo |09. She’s All That - Kiss Me; Sixpence None The Richer | 10. Cruel Intentions - Colorblind; Counting Crows | 11. Romeo + Juliet - Talk Show Host; Radiohead | 12. Dawson’s Creek - I Don’t Want To Wait; Paula Cole | 13. I Know What You Did Last Summer - Clumsy; Our Lady Peace | 14. My So-Called Life - At Night; Buffalo Tom | 15. Buffy The Vampire Slayer - Buffy Theme; Nerf Herder | 16. Jawbreaker - Yoo Hoo; Imperial Teen | 17. Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead - Draggin’ The Line; Beat Goes Bang | 18. American Pie - Mutt; Blink 182 | 19. Empire Records - Sugarhigh; Coyote Shivers | 20. Drive Me Crazy - Keep On Loving You; The Donnas | 21. Clueless - Alright; Supergrass | 22. Hayley Wagner, Star - Look At Me; Geri Halliwell | 23. Teaching Mrs Tingle - Sorry; Stretch Princess | 24. Wish Upon A Star - Heaven; Moonpools and Caterpillars | 25.10 Things I Hate About You - Can’t Take My Eyes Off You; Heath Ledger | 26. Buffy The Vampire Slayer - Little Heaven; Toad The Wet Sprocket | 27. Empire Records - Til I Hear It From You; Gin Blossoms | 28. Election - This Road I’m Traveling; Mojave 3 | 29. That Thing You Do - That Thing You Do; The Wonders | 30. Titanic - My Heart Will Go On; Celine Dion | 31. Drive Me Crazy - (You Drive Me) Crazy; Britney Spears. [LISTEN]
00s MP3 Player: 01. A Walk To Remember - Someday We’ll Know; Mandy Moore and Jon Foreman | 02. A Cinderella Story - I’ll Be; Edwin McCain | 03. Down To You - Let’s Stay Together; Seal | 04. Ice Princess - No One; Aly & AJ | 05. Juno - Anyone Else But You; The Moldy Peaches | 06. (500) Days Of Summer - She’s Got You High; Mumm Ra | 07. The O.C. - California; Phantom Planet | 08. Veronica Mars - We Used To Be Friends; The Dandy Warhols | 09. Mean Girls - God Is A DJ; P!nk | 10. Legally Blonde - Perfect Day; Hoku | 11. Bring It On - Hey Mickey; B*Witched | 12. The Princess Diaries - Miracles Happen; Myra | 13. Just My Luck - Just My Luck; McFly | 14. She’s The Man - 4Ever; The Veronicas | 15. Freaky Friday - What I Like About You; Lillix | 16. The Perfect Man - I Will Learn To Love Again; Kaci Brown | 17. Wild Child - Let Me Think About It; Ida Corr vs. Fedde Le Grand | 18. Boys and Girls - Can’t Stop The Rock; Apollo 440 | 19. Freaky Friday - Happy Together; Simple Plan | 20. Josie And The Pussycats - Three Small Words; Rachael Leigh Cook, Tara Reid and Rosario Dawson | 21. Save The Last Dance - All Or Nothing; Athena Cage | 22. Whatever It Takes - Charm Attack; Leona Naess | 23. High School Musical - Breaking Free; Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens | 24. Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen - That Girl; Lindsay Lohan | 25. Lizzie McGuire - What Dreams Are Made Of; Hilary Duff | 26. Raise Your Voice - Someone’s Watching Over Me; Hilary Duff | 27. What A Girl Wants - Long Time Coming; Oliver James | 28. A Walk To Remember - Only Hope; Mandy Moore | 29. Get Over It - Dream Of Me; Kirsten Dunst | 30. The Notebook - I’ll Be Seeing You; Billie Holiday | 31. The Prince and Me - I Hope That I Don’t Fall In Love With You; Marc Cohn | 32. The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants - These Days; Chantal Kreviazuk. [LISTEN]
10s Smartphone: 01. Pitch Perfect - Cups (When I’m Gone) Anna Kendrick | 02. Easy A - Change Of Seasons Sweet Thing | 03. The Fault In Our Stars - Boom Clap; Charli XCX | 04. Veronica Mars - Stick Up; Max | 05. Twilight - Black Hole; Muse | 06. Divergent - Beating Heart; Ellie Goulding | 07. Vampire Academy - Bela Lugosi’s; Dead Chvrches | 08. G.B.F. - Body Work; Morgan Page feat. Tegan & Sara | 09. The First Time - Wait For Me; Motopony | 10. Veronica Mars - Prosthetic Love; Typhoon | 11. Catching Fire - Silhouettes; Of Monsters And Men | 12. The Spectacular Now - Song For Zula; Phosphorescent | 13. Breaking Dawn - Turning Page; Sleeping At Last | 14. The Fault In Our Stars - All Of The Stars; Ed Sheeran | 15. The Hunger Games - Safe & Sound; Taylor Swift and The Civil Wars | 16. Beautiful Creatures - Never Too Late; Thenewno2 | 17. The To Do List - Fade Into You; Mazzy Star | 18. City of Bones - When The Darkness Comes; Colbie Caillat | 19. Vampire Academy - Spiritual; Katy Perry | 20. Divergent - I Need You; M83 | 21. The Bling Ring - All Of The Lights; Kanye West feat. Rihanna, Kid Cudi | 22. Pitch Perfect - Price Tag / Don’t You Forget About Me / Give Me Everything; The Barden Bellas | 23. Dirty Girl - Your Love; The Outfield | 24. The Perks Of Being A Wallflower - Heroes; David Bowie | 25. Easy A - Knock On Wood; Emma Stone | 26. It’s Kind Of A Funny Story - Where Is My Mind; Maxence Cyrin. [LISTEN]
There is sadness that has been living in my bones
longer than I’ve been walking upright. Longer than
the willow in the front yard has been weeping.
No one knows what it’s saying but it sounds
a lot like prayer. It sounds a lot like penance.
I am still hurting and I am still lying about it.
There is no soft way to say that sometimes
I forget to breathe so I skip that and ask
what’s for dinner instead.
I am still learning how to do the easy things
like eat when I’m hungry and leave my bed every day.
I am still learning to twist my tongue around words
that resemble the truth. I am still falling asleep
with hope suffocating between my clasped fingers.
I am still falling in love with the moon. I am still
stepping around broken glass and thinking
that counts as strength. I am still hoping
the world ends before we do.
- 3/4 colours - green
Roses by Vincent van Gogh | La Jeune Martyre by Paul Delaroche | Mars & Venus, Allegory of Peace by Louis Jean François Lagrenée | The Woman in the Green Dress by Claude Monet | The King’s Daughter by Eduard Veith
i’ve written a bit on this topic before. impostor syndrome is rampant in academia: get a lot of university students drunk and listen to all of them—even the most confident & high-achieving—tell you they’re not as clever or worthy as their peers. the system encourages you to tie your identity & self-esteem to academia, and suddenly you feel that your whole self is being weighed up (and found wanting) each time you write or speak. you feel paralysed—and that feeds the self-doubt. vicious circle.
be gentle with yourself. no one is judging you as minutely and savagely as you (i promise). it’s alright to not know, to say something odd or obvious or wrong, to fuck up—to fuck up spectacularly. it’s alright. failure is good. failure is useful, because the goal of learning isn’t to look clever. it’s to have the best possible ideas. you begin with a basic idea, and then you build on it. expressing your thoughts is an opportunity. it’s like conducting an experiment to test a hypothesis. if you don’t test your ideas, you can’t enlarge and improve and refine them. when something goes wrong, you don’t stop testing; you try something else. it’s a process, and it’s never finished. doesn’t matter what other people are doing; they’re on different journeys. all you have to do each day is become a bit smarter than you were yesterday.
academia can be a mindgame; it’ll try to psych you out. for me, the best offence against self-doubt was to fake it. you act like you’re smart and confident and unshakeable even when you don’t believe it. you’ve got to be vigilant and aggressive about it: when a negative thought surfaces, you distract yourself, or you talk back, drown it out, counter it with all the goddamn sunshine ra-ra-ra optimism you can muster. when that voice behind your eyes tells you to shut up or make yourself small, you square your shoulders and look people in the eye, because the person you’re performing has never fucking heard of staying quiet. dare yourself to do things, little things that require bravery, and then reward yourself whatever the outcome. acknowledge constantly how fucking brave you are to keep going when your own brain is trying to intimidate and bully you. in the beginning you’ll hate it—it’s hard and nervewracking and it feels like bullshit; but it’s a hundred times better than self-loathing and guilt and shame. you do it when you’re alone, and then you double it when you’re in an academic setting. and, surprisingly quickly, it sticks. (i’d know.)
this learning process is yours: it’s about getting what you need. focus on your curiosity—because that’s it, that’s what matters: the part of you that wants to find and know and understand, and always comes back for more. the students who succeed aren’t the naturally gifted—i’ve seen too many of them burn out to believe that. it’s the students with curiosity and hard-headed perseverance. every time.
[mental health advice under the cut]
Lady, what am I doing
With a lung full of dust and a tongue of wood,
Knee-deep in the cold swamped by flowers?
FUCK FUCK YES